Ashley Madison and the Value of the Boring Life
I have seen it all, well sometimes I think I have. Adults using their e-mail and credit cards to hook up with other adults interested in an illicit affair.
It is amazing what we have found concerning the other side (and our own clients) by a simple search on Google. Sexting is all too common. Here is a word to the wise. Don’t do anything you would not want to see on the front page of your local newspaper.
Ahh, you were waiting for that sentence to end with “on the net”, “on your cell phone”, or “with credit cards”. No this is a broader suggestion.
Yes, of course, don’t use the cell, don’t use the credit or debit card, and of course don’t take out a personal ad inviting the activity.
Much of what my clients have told me about themselves may be criminal, and almost always involves another person. You don’t want to give anyone the opportunity to hold something over your head.
Living a life that some people may consider boring, will be simpler. I am told there is a curse, may you live in interesting times. Boring may be better. Clients who end up in my office worrying about what the other side may know about this or that, are not bored.
Judges also have seen it all. They are not surprised by much of anything. The Court really does look at the why one of the partners in a marriage “stepped out”. Was the other spouse abusive? Who really started it? Was it a harmless flirtation? Ultimately the question is who caused the breakup? Was it caused by the infidelity or was that a symptom?
Then there is the reality that the court may give one spouse 5 or 10% more of the assets if the other is at fault in the breakdown of the marriage. It is not all or nothing. Infidelity between consenting adults, without more does not affect custody or visitation in the 21st century as it did decades ago. It is often perceived as unrelated to the best interests of the child.
So even though it will be considered and it is often painful to go through, if our clients find themselves living in interesting times we work the issues and minimize or eliminate the consequences. We are here to help. We Can Help, call us and we will talk it through. Either way the family lawyer’s responsibility is to use what evidence and arguments are available to argue on our clients behalf. Call us.